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This is real life

I am strong.  I am determined. I am resilient. I am a mother. I am a good,  friend. I am a daughter. I am worth it. I am Chellsea. I haven't taken the time to put my feelings on paper or into words anywhere since the last time I updated this blog. I have attempted to do so in many notebooks but after three lines I decide my handwritting isnt good enough and flip the page and try again. After wasting about ten pages I quit. Never getting my thoughts or feelings out... I want to say I dont have the time to, but all i have is time.  So much has changed, Alex moved with his dad, permanently. We hardly even talk. I was heartbroken I’m the beginning, that’s all I could think about. How could his dad be absent for so long and then step up to father of the year one Christmas vacation.  I was living my own hell in a relationship with a narcissist asshole, unfortunately my kids felt it too. So consumed with my own mental fucked up situation, it effected Alex the worst.  T...