This is real life

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I am strong.  I am determined. I am resilient. I am a mother. I am a good,  friend. I am a daughter. I am worth it. I am Chellsea.

I haven't taken the time to put my feelings on paper or into words anywhere since the last time I updated this blog. I have attempted to do so in many notebooks but after three lines I decide my handwritting isnt good enough and flip the page and try again. After wasting about ten pages I quit. Never getting my thoughts or feelings out... I want to say I dont have the time to, but all i have is time. 

So much has changed, Alex moved with his dad, permanently. We hardly even talk. I was heartbroken I’m the beginning, that’s all I could think about. How could his dad be absent for so long and then step up to father of the year one Christmas vacation. 
I was living my own hell in a relationship with a narcissist asshole, unfortunately my kids felt it too. So consumed with my own mental fucked up situation, it effected Alex the worst. 
To be continued… makes me cry to even think about his feelings

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