This is my story thru adoption, and life after...

I woke up yesterday knowing it was going to be a rough day, I had a funeral to go to. I went to see my mom Friday and she didn't look well. Her lips were so dry and she barley had a voice. She was so weak, could barley move. I asked to take her to the hospital, she refused. That was the last I talked to her. Natalie got the flu Friday, and I got it Saturday. Sunday I stayed in bed with a migraine. My mom didn't call me once, and she was my biggest fan. She called me 20 times a day, so not hearing from her was concerning.  I have a close friend who lets my mom visit since I don't have a place for her to go anymore, I asked him to go check on her for me. I agreed to give my best friend Ashley a ride to the funeral, so I got to her house to pick her up and my friend called saying she wouldn't answer. I told him to call the police. Minutes later the police called back and told me she was dead. I collapsed. I'm the only child, she's the last of her family, and I have

Today is mothers day, its a rough day every year. I turned 35 yesterday, yay! My dad got me cake and ice cream, gave me some money to get some glasses cause I lost mine. I recently had to move out of my place so we are living with my dad, its been different for sure. I haven't had to stay with him in years cause I've had my own place 2018. I forgot how hard parenting is when you live with your own parents. Anyways I had to get a paper notarized so I stopped by Heart to Heart adoptions which is the agency I placed thru. I updated my address to my dads cause his address will always be consistent. I get a post card for every occasion from the adoptive family. I always open the envelope and look at it for several minutes, look at myself in the mirror, let a tear roll down my cheek, then stuff the emotions to the back of my mind, put the post card in my purse to show the few people I care about in my life when I see them next. I get the same reaction from them each time. "She l