This is real life

I am strong.  I am determined. I am resilient. I am a mother. I am a good,  friend. I am a daughter. I am worth it. I am Chellsea. I haven't taken the time to put my feelings on paper or into words anywhere since the last time I updated this blog. I have attempted to do so in many notebooks but after three lines I decide my handwritting isnt good enough and flip the page and try again. After wasting about ten pages I quit. Never getting my thoughts or feelings out... I want to say I dont have the time to, but all i have is time.  So much has changed, Alex moved with his dad, permanently. We hardly even talk. I was heartbroken I’m the beginning, that’s all I could think about. How could his dad be absent for so long and then step up to father of the year one Christmas vacation.  I was living my own hell in a relationship with a narcissist asshole, unfortunately my kids felt it too. So consumed with my own mental fucked up situation, it effected Alex the worst.  To be continued… make

Three years later

So many emotions come with adoption, some I have experienced before, and others I havent. I cant believe it has been three years already. I get post cards every holiday or celebration. I get detailed updates each March. There are times that I have to wait a day or so to open the envelope with the post card inside, other times I quickly open it up just to see your smile.


Hello November... I have had an emotional October. I am so grateful it is behind me. I do not get updates monthly anymore. I can't help but picture your precious face with a big smile. My hands have been full, October was emotional yet busy. Alex turned 8 and Natalie turned 3. I chose to have a medical precedure done on the 22nd that was a hard choice to make. My big girl started preschool on the 28th. With all that happening, my relationship was stressful. I need to take the time to write down my pros and cons, honestly, and make a decision before the damage is beyond my control.

My interview video :)

The interview I agreed to do for the Pregnancy Resource Center of Salt Lake City is done. Here it is... I was so nervous...

6 months... already

This update was very difficult for me emotionally, more so than the others. Six months ago I made a decision I never thought I could do, I placed you in the arms of the most loving family. The connection I felt with them was one I cant even put into words. I wanted the best for you and I found it in the arms of Andy, Elizabeth, and Henry.  Adoption is a blessing, but an emotional one. The agreement when I signed the reliquishment papers was updates monthly until 6 months old, 9 month, and 1 year. Then 2x a year after that, I chose March (birthday) and October. I'm going to be lost next month around this time. Well you have an important medical precedure coming up soon, I will pray that everything goes well for you baby girl. You will forever be on my mind little one ❤️

5 month update

I am blessed to have picked such amazing people to be your parents. Elizabeth puts a lot of time into the updates she sends me. She includes a lot of detail and sure it gets hard at times to read, but I appreciate it very much so. Due to your medical needs, there is a lot of time they spend with you getting the best of the best doctors at Yale to care for you. I am forever thankful to know there is such loving people in the world willing to give so much love. In this update a lot of medical stuff they informed me what is going on with you, I do not know for sure what i can share and what I can't. So August in CT is beautiful, you enjoy adventures to the pool, lake, and the beach.  This melted my heart, a picture of Henry reading to Georgie. I specifically remember a page in Andy and Elizabeth's profile when i was choosing a family that mentioned the importance of siblings close in age. That page included pictures of both of them with their siblings, Andy having a twin. I knew

I was able to share my story today

I mentioned that I was asked if I would tell my story in an interview for The Pregnancy Resource Center of Salt Lake City... Well today I did just that. Filming is something I never thought I would get the opportunity to do, but I got a taste of it. Definitly requires patience. When asked the questions for the interview, my mind went blank. I hope it comes together alright. Im an open book about my journey with Georgie... And if my story helps women who are faced with an unplanned pregnancy know they have options other than abortion. I had two abortions in my past and having to live with that shame is rough. Placing my child for adoption was a blessing the adoptive family have prayed for. It was a long day, goodnight.🌙⭐💤